The gift
February 22, 2019
Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”
― Mary Oliver
Six years ago, I was carrying my daughter who I knew was not made for this world. There were so many unknowns. I didn’t know if she would make it to delivery, and if she did, I didn’t know how long she would stay with us. I didn’t know how to parent my older two girls through that season. I had no idea what grief and healing looked like. I had zero clue what life on the other side of that turmoil would be like. It was so so dark.
I also knew that Annie’s birthday would always be sad, because it was the day she left us. However, it was also the day she LIVED. Her entire life was filled with love and family and faith and hope. She changed me, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to honor that.
I am here today to tell you how much unexpected beauty and good has come from that darkness. Hosting SHINE is my way of not only honoring my daughter and the lives she has changed, but also to be a light to others in the darkness. It has been six long years without Annie. I still have my fair share of darkness. I still don’t know a LOT of things. But thanks to the help of my husband, my four living daughters, my friends, my faith, and counseling, I am here and I can feel myself shining again.
SHINE was an idea I had when I was pregnant with Annie, and was finally able to execute last year. I had no idea what I was doing, but I had a LOT of help (lookin at you Amy Ray Events ). It was so incredible. For the very first time, I had fun on my daughter’s birthday. We laughed, we celebrated, we ate, we played, we drank, we danced, we cried many happy tears, and we PARTIED. There was so much palpable joy. It exceeded all of my dreams. All of the proceeds went to our friends at The Spero Project, and it was incredible. I can’t wait to do it again.
Many of our friends and family have asked us, “why The Spero Project? If this is a party for Annie, wouldn’t you guys have it benefit LifeShare because of Annie’s organ donation?” This is a valid question, and I want to answer it for those of you who have wondered the same thing.
My family and I are adamant supporters of LifeShare of Oklahoma. We appreciate their life saving mission. We support them with monetary donations and we are active LifeShare Advocates (aka volunteers). When I began to plan SHINE 2018, I definitely wanted to include them in the celebration because they are like family to us. They were there at SHINE with a table and a lovely volunteer to spread the word about organ donation and register new donors, because they have been just as supportive of us over the years.
It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why, but when I chose a recipient for the proceeds of SHINE, I knew it had to be The Spero Project. One reason why is because SHINE is not a humongous event, and I felt like the amount of money we raised could make a very big difference in a smaller organization like Spero.
Annie’s legacy is big and multifaceted. Organ donation is a big part of that legacy, but so is bringing light into the darkness. The Spero Project does that with it’s many projects, and I invite you to learn more about their life changing work on their website.
We really hope you can make it to celebrate with us this year. SHINE is being held on June 21 at Aloft Hotel in downtown OKC. There will be food, games, prizes, drinks, live music and dancing. It is an incredible way to celebrate our sweet girl and the light that can only come from the darkness.
LOL (lots of love),
Abbey
